Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
