Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
