I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
