my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
