my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
