too bad you live with your parents still
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
