When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
