New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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