I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
