You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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