Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
