he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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