I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize