It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
