nut hugger
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
