That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
