yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
