literally had 100 drinks last night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
