New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
