I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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