We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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