hotel room ftw
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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