She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
