Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
