I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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