oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
how drunk are you?
Several
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
