I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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