Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
