whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
