he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize