so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize