you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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