Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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