So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
