it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
