I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
