i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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