Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
