To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I FOUND THE LEGS
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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