U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
