We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't put those talents on a resume
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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