so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
