Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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