My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
