I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
