They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
