I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
