I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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