she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
