I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
