Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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