She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
