I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Help. Why am I so naked?
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