So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How does one acquire holy water?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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