he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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