I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she told me i tasted like america
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
