ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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