Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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