I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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