I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
